Hi friends! It's time for me to get real...

One of my biggest insecurities lies in the fact that some people just aren't going to like me. As a notorious people pleaser, this is a hard pill for me to swallow. On top of being a people pleaser, I am the type to create a problem out of virtually nothing. I will think someone is mad at me and my imagination will cause it to spiral into something way bigger than it ever needed to be. These issues are rooted in insecurity. Insecurities that we all have in some way or another. For me, it's the fear of rejection.

From what I can remember, I spent most of middle + high school, and my first semester of college consumed with what people were thinking of me. I was scared to be my true self because I wanted to "fit in," and "be cool." Most of my decisions were made after considering how many people would either reject or accept me.

Thoughts like:

 "Well maybe they will like it better if I wear this...

I'm only going out because I don't want to look like a loser...

Are they going to think I'm weird for having a Bible verse in my Instagram bio?"

are honestly things that went through my head. Of course I don't particularly enjoy admitting and sharing these because, 1) they're silly in the grand scheme of things, 2) they show that I did struggle with insecurities, and 3) I let my pride and insecurities take me away from my relationship with the Lord,  BUT I know I am not the only one who has struggled like this.

These insecurities led me to be somewhat embarrassed of the conviction that was placed in my heart. The Lord would call me to be obedient and stop the gossip in its tracks, or speak truth to friends who were lost. Instead of obeying, I let pride stop me from being the person I was called to be: a daughter of The King. I wasn't letting my light shine. 

I want to provide you with reassurance, truth, and the hope that you will get past this. You will realize that letting your light shine is the coolest, most rewarding, and most joyous thing you can possibly do.

"No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house." Matthew 5:15 

The freedom I feel while being my true self at all times, in every circumstance is something I never want to forget. It takes the pressure off of me and my desire to fit in. When I live a life knowing that my identity is NOT found in the world, I live a life free from the chains the world wants to place on me. In Christ, I am not chained, I am not bound, and I can live the life He has called me to live. I can have this feeling of freedom because the Lord calls me to so much more. He calls me worthy, beautiful, and loved. When I know my true identity, I can be bold + brave. When I know He accepts me ALWAYS, there is no longer room for the fear of rejection.

Paul, in his letter to Timothy, displays this boldness so beautifully. While in prison because of his obedience to spread the gospel, Paul has full confidence that his worth is not found in anything or anyone else other than in the Lord. He was willing to suffer in prison for the sake of spreading the Good News. He let his light shine + was not concerned about the consequences one bit. 

"For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God."
2 Timothy 1:7-8

If I could go back and give advice to middle school Brooke, I would tell her that living for the Lord is cool. I would remind her that her worth is not found in boys, in her appearance, or in the amount of friends she had. I would tell her to let her light shine and to stop hiding in fear of rejection. I would tell her to be like Paul, even if that means losing friends or popularity. I would assure her that she will be OKAY because His divine will for her life is SO much greater than that one friend who takes her away from her Father. There is freedom in knowing who we are and WHOSE we are. 

Our gracious, loving, all-powerful, MIGHTY God chose you + me to be a light to this dark world. What a privilege. 

No more doubt.

No more fear. 

Now, go shine your light...it's bright, bold, and has the ability to light up a world full of darkness. 

With love always,

Brooke