Choosing Obedience Over Pride
July 3, 2018 was a big, emotional, unexpected, and amazing day for me. I was three days into being a camp counselor at Overflow Youth camp and The Lord was moving in MIGHTY ways. The night before, we asked our girls to let us know if they wanted to be baptized the following day after service. To our delight, many of them raised their hands with such a sweet eagerness. My heart filled with joy and gratitude for all the Lord was doing in the lives of our 19 girls.
One of the amazing counselors serving alongside me, Haley Curley, shared a story with all of us about her call to be baptized. This is when The Lord began to tug on my heart, but I tried to ignore it because of deep rooted pride. She told us that the Lord spoke to her four years prior, and told her to be baptized, to publicly display her decision to follow Him. Instead of doing so, she waited four years, but finally felt like this year at camp was her time. As soon as Haley shared this story and decision to be obedient, I knew I needed to be baptized the next day as well.
This is when I began to let pride cripple my conviction.
You see, I had already been baptized (twice actually). Once when I was an infant, and once at Camp Orlando on July 14, 2013. The enemy began to feed me lies and doubts, saying that people would judge me for being baptized again. That they wouldn't take this decision seriously, because I had already done it before.
I was more worried about what people thought of me, rather than the opinion of my Heavenly Father.
"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10
The Lord was calling me to move, to be obedient, and to proclaim my faith publicly (once more). My heart had been drastically changed since July of 2013. I am not saying that I didn't mean it back then, or that it was fake, because that is far from the truth. What I am saying is, my faith is finally a part of who I am - my identity. It is here to stay, and something I am proud of. I want to boast in the goodness of my Lord and Savior. I want everyone I know to experience just how AWESOME He is! And because of this, He spoke to me in that moment, saying, "Brooke you need to be baptized tomorrow."
You would think it would be an easy "yes," but I was struggling with pride - worrying about what people would think once they heard that I had been baptized before.
So instead of being obedient and putting my name down, I decided not to.
After service that morning, we all walked down to the pool for the baptism time. The pool ledge was FILLED with kids who were so excited to publicly declare their decision to follow The Lord. From the moment we arrived at the pool, I began to feel that conviction I felt the night before. As the time was coming to an end and after about 80 baptisms, including Haley's, The Lord spoke to me clearly and profoundly saying, "why are you so worried about what people think of you? Is this about ME or is this about you?" At that moment, I knew I was struggling with pride, and it was keeping me from being obedient.
I wanted to be obedient. There was nothing more I desired. Once I stopped seeing myself through the eyes of man, I began to see myself through the eyes of my loving Father, who wants nothing but good for me. A spark welled up inside of me, and everything became very clear. I walked up to another counselor and said, "The Lord told me to be baptized. I want to be baptized today." With joy in her voice, she said, "Grab a shirt girlfriend, and go get in that pool!"
I put on a shirt that said, "I HAVE DECIDED," and sat on the ledge, eager to be washed by the water. I was ready to respond and to be obedient. I was ready to proclaim, show a change of heart after five years, and declare the truth that all of who I am now was made possible by the death and resurrection of Jesus.
I am who I am, because of Who He is.
And that water is a picture of baptism, which now saves you, not by removing dirt from your body, but as a response to God from a clean conscience. It is effective because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 3:21
On that day, July 3rd, 2018, I chose obedience over pride, and I have never felt so free.
Best. Decision. Ever!!
Brooke
